31 Ekim 2016 Pazartesi

Prayers in Colors

colors

Taking a break from the cemetery photos :) Wanted to add some color to the blog. These are rosaries, used while praying. Each one has 99 beads, seperated into 3 by a different bead thus there are 3 groups made of 33 beads each. Our rosaries are often well decorated with bright colors. You can find all kinds of rosaries, the ones made out of gemstones, shiny, matte, glamorous, toned down... Even the ones that have a rose scent to it (Rose is a symbolic flower in Islam). The reason why our rosaries have 99 beads is that in Islam, God has 99 names which are known. So, many many colors and symbolism is tucked into one photo here!

Beauty of Dullness

scenery

This scenery is again taken at the cemetery. Not that I have no other place than cemetery to take photos. It's just that the place is incredibly beautiful and every corner is full of possibilities. Also, we go there quite often :) This is the view from the grave of my recently deceased uncle. You can see the Golden Horn Bridge there. When the sky is bright blue, the sea and the whole scenery looks amazing. But when the sky is grey, everything looks dull. Here, dull has no bad meaning. Dullness of the scenery brings out the beauty of the clouds, adds the right amount of gloom and sadness. Being able to experience different kinds of emotions is truly a blessing. That's why "dull" has actually a positive meaning in this case. 

28 Ekim 2016 Cuma

Heaven in the Cemetery

cemetery


On fridays we go to the cemetery to visit my grandpa and uncle. Cemerety visits are sad, filled with tears and prayers. But there are always little details that help you bear with the pain you feel. While walking down the ladders to my uncle's grave, I saw these flowers -which are beyond beautiful- planted on another grave. I was so mesmerized that I kind of forgot about the sadness I felt. Sometimes it's the cats that make me happy among all the sadness. They just come and roll on the ground while we are crying and such. Sometimes it's the white butterflies... This time it was this bunch of flowers. I wonder what am I going to see at my next visit...

27 Ekim 2016 Perşembe

Psychiatrist's Defense

depression

Meet my pills. I take these everyday. Three from the green one (Zedprex) and two from the blue (Aripa). Yes, five pills a day. This may seem scary to some, but believe me it's not. Whenever I mention that I use pills for my mental health, people stare at me with fear and say that all I'm doing is numbing my brain. No, just no. Pills do have side effects, I'm aware of it. And some pills are bad for some people, I've experienced it as well. I had been given many terrible pills that caused even more trouble. But when it comes to mental health, finding the right medicine is a process. It took me a few years. 
Most mental health issues are because of imbalanced hormones. The pills are for filling the empty spot because of the missing hormones or to balance them. Am I a psychiatrist? Not "yet".
---
Let my poem about my "green pill" do the rest of the explaining :)



26 Ekim 2016 Çarşamba

Greens in the City

greens in the city

I was going back home from my psychiatry appointment. Doctor doubled up my medicine, just like every appointment. Seems like my mental health is going worse... And the crowded city just doesn't help. While walking, mom stopped for a cigarette. I hate standing still while mom's smoking so I decided to walk around. I saw a bit of green in front of a plaza. It just felt so nice. Beautiful tiny green leaves in the midst of the city. Seems like I'm the only weirdo who is captivated by such small things. Maybe not...

25 Ekim 2016 Salı

Gloomy "Sun"Day


You may know the song "Gloomy Sunday", which is rumored to be the cause of many suicides. After the death of my uncle who took me to this place, this photo has been linked to that song title in my mind. We were happy that day, the sun was shining brightly, sea was more than beautiful... This photo was taken with those happy feelings. But the feeling has changed. Hope I won't add new sadnesses to this photo.

Quilt


The view from my house is never that exciting. But luckily I am able to see the sky from the window. Sky is always exciting. But that day there was something more to it... It felt like an extra puffy quilt that was protecting me from the monster under my bed. So I decided to capture this beauty to feel protected whenever I'm in need.

Galata Tower from a Weird Angle


This was taken two years ago. While we were waiting in the line to get into the Galata Tower, I decided to take a picture of it to show how it looks like from down below. I feel like this angle adds a new dimension to the beauty of the tower. Experimenting with the anlges is key you know ;)

Blues

scenery

Ortaköy/Istanbul

Many tones of blue in the same shot. Blue is one of the colors that makes me experience all kinds of emotions at the same time, which is the perfect example of blue's uniting power. Just like in this picture, the sky far above and the sea which is very close has become one because of the color blue.

View from the Balcony

blue sky


This scenery is from my deceased uncle's house. Every time I went there, I would sip my Turkish coffee while diving into deep thoughts. Now when I'm there, I dive into even deeper thoughts without sipping the coffee...

Rainbow Ladders of Pierre Loti


After the visit to my uncle and grandfather's graves was over, we decided to use this path to go down. The surroundings were not-so-glamorous; but the rainbow colored ladders glistened among the non-glamorous. If you know the anime "Zankyou no Terror", you know the song "Von". The lyrics go: "Þar sem gróir þar er von." Which means: "Where things glow, there is hope." 

Gloomy Pink

sadness

Instead of a vibrant effect, I went for a gothic approach with this one. I tried to express gloom and sadness with a rather happy color "pink". And I'm quite pleased with the outcome.

Violets at the Cemetery

graveyard

It's weird yet so beautiful that cemeteries are the most peaceful places. But what's even better is that you can actually observe the beginning of a new life on top of the deceased. 

The tombstones you see here go back to the Ottoman Era. If you look close, you can see the Ottoman writings and carvings on them. The tombstones are old, but the violets are fresh as the morning dew and they will always make us understand the neverending cycle of life.

Sunset in Istanbul/Ortaköy

ortaköy


When a beautiful day with your best friends is over, sunset is there to accompany your sadness. It either lifts up your mood or brings you down. Both are bittersweet emotions that make you remember that day clearer. I feel lucky that sunset is the thing that reminds me of a very beautiful day spent with my very dear friends.